My entire seven years of teaching has all been in one school, and as much as I loved my students and coworkers there, when I had my daughter in January, it brought about some major changes in my life. One of those changes was that I no longer found the 40 minute drive to and from work to be my mental preparation/unwinding time, and started to feel like it was another barrier to being with my precious baby. So I left.
It was a very emotional decision, but through the tears, I knew it was what was best for me and for my family at this time. I prayed over it, my husband and I talked about it, but there were no offers from other school districts. There weren't even any calls to schedule interviews.
But I knew.
Somehow, I knew that I was not supposed to return this year.
And then contracts came out, and I was faced with a very big decision.
On the one hand, signing my contract guaranteed me a job, and that security sure did seem important with a sweet baby to care for. And I did love my students. And I did have wonderful coworkers, who I would miss if I left. So maybe this was Heavenly Father's way of showing me that I needed to stay. Maybe the lack of response to my application was my sign that I had misunderstood.
Or maybe not. Maybe this was a test. Or maybe the timing wasn't right. Or maybe I just needed to learn to trust that nagging feeling that kept telling me over and over "Don't sign. This is not where I want you." And the feeling got stronger and stronger, and the voice came to a fever pitch the day contracts were due.
But security won out. Well, security and my husband's rational explanation that not only would signing give me that security, but if I did find something, I could get out of my contract.
So I signed, but still, I knew.
Every time I thought about being back, it just felt wrong. And every time I thought about being somewhere else, I felt a peace that just told me something was on the horizon and to wait a little bit longer.
So a few weeks ago, I was offered a position in the county where I live at a school 15 minutes away with an on-site daycare. It's about 5-10 minutes from where I grew up, and it's my absolute dream position: teaching math and science in 5th grade!
But the strangest part: when I started looking, I just knew this would be the school, regardless of the fact that there are probably 30 elementary schools in the district and 5 of them are closer to me.
Clearly, this is where I'm supposed to be, even if I'm not 100% sure why yet. :-)
